Things don’t always look the way we hoped they would.

I didn’t plan to miss out on getting our Christmas tree this year.  Our annual tradition includes loading up the entire family and driving to a tree farm.  Then we scour the grounds until we find our favorite,  taking pictures that will be used on future Christmas cards.  The kids take turns wielding the borrowed, rusty orange saw to the trunk of the tree and then we drag it across the lot back to our vehicle.

Things don’t look the way they usually do this time of year.

Normally we would haul the tree home and my husband would get it up right away.  Then I would string soft white lights throughout and the kids would join me as we sift through boxes filled with old memories and decorations alike.  Vince Guaraldi, Michael Buble and Diana Krall would greet us like old friends.

Lastly, we would gather around the lights of the tree, snacks and bubbly in hand, as we recalled past Christmas memories, laughing at some and experiencing a twinge of loss at others.

None of that happened this year.  Instead, I am on the couch with a back injury that is keeping me from doing anything.  My husband and daughter found a tree that now stands in the corner, sad and dark.  The decoration boxes filling an already messy living room, taunting me do something about it.

Things don’t look the way I had hoped they would.

Life is hard sometimes.  Many people are dealing with far greater disappointments than just missing out on a family Christmas tradition.  I have friends and family who are bracing themselves for this holiday season, white knuckling their way through the festivities while in the onset stage of grieving a spouse.

Life is hard and things don’t look the way we thought they would.  This is true.  And yet at the same time there is another truth, God is always with us.

Emmanuel.

It’s not just a name we use at Christmas time to reference God.  He is our salvation, our comfort and our strength. His plan from the very beginning was to be in relationship with us.  When mankind sinned He sent His son in the form of a baby to be with us.  And when Jesus left this earth and ascended into heaven, he sent Holy Spirit to be with us. He has always wanted to be with us.

Emmanuel, God with us.

God with us in our grief.

God with us in our confusion.

God with us in our pain.

God with us in our difficult circumstance.

God with us in our brokenness.

What a gift His presence is to us.  To know that in every situation, at every stage of life, He is with us.  He cares deeply about us and wants to spend time with us daily.

“The Lord is close to the broken-hearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” (NLT) Psalm 34:18

The Contemporary English Version says it like this “The Lord is there to rescue all who are discouraged and have given up hope.”

Is this you today?  Are you feeling discouraged?  Do you feel as if you’ve given up hope? I encourage you to focus on the first part of that verse:  the Lord is here to rescue… He is close to the broken-hearted.  It’s in His nature and part of His character to rescue, to encourage and to restore hope.  Invite Him into the grief, the loneliness and the messiness of your life.  He wants to be with us in all of it.  He is our Emmanuel and His presence in our lives is the greatest gift of all.

Easter Sunday, after church, we gathered with family and friends to celebrate and eat a meal together.  My daughter was carrying in a family favorite dessert, chocolate chip bundt cake, which was sitting on a new green pedestal cake server.  As she went to set it down on the granite counter, she kind of misjudged the height and knocked the base against the front of the countertop, then corrected it.  Suddenly she turned to me and with tears in her eyes said, “It broke!” I looked to see what had happened and there was a long fracture line that cut the dish in half…and there was blood.  The fractured bottom had sliced into her hand and caused a decent size cut.

It was a little frantic then, getting Hannah into the bathroom to wash the wound and elevate it, making sure we could save the dessert and then driving to the store to get some butterfly band aids.

I felt panicky trying to find the bandages quickly and get back to my daughter.  I could feel my heart begin to become anxious.  If worse came to worse, the reality was that she would need stitches.  Really not the end of the world.  But it’s hard to get your mind to think clearly when your heart is aching.

There is something about seeing our kids in pain, whether it’s physical or emotional, that just kind of tears at our hearts and can sometimes cloud our judgement.

When I got back to the house she was doing fine.  My husband had determined that no stitches were necessary. Although it should be noted that there has yet to be a time when he has ever felt that stitches were necessary.

Later that afternoon, I was outside laying on a blanket in our backyard, soaking up the beautiful sunshine.  I was just watching the clouds roll by overhead, reflecting on the day, when I had a quiet thought that I have learned to recognize as from the Holy Spirit.

The love that we have for our kids is so deep.  My life and my prayers are directed toward my three children.  My heart is that they would know the depth of the love that God has for them.  I love them so much, and yet God’s love for them is even deeper.

And as I lay there staring up at the sky, I was reminded of the great love that God has for me.  That He has for every single one of us.  Not just for those that love Him back, but for all humanity.  It’s overwhelming really.  And these simple words came to mind, “You can trust me.”

Often times, when my kids are experiencing pain or someone I love is going through something hard, my initial response is to want to make things better. I’m a fixer.  But I realize that in my haste to try to take care of things on my own, often times my actions give away my heart.  I don’t always trust him.

Nobody has ever loved me the way God does.  He willingly sent His son to die for me. Jesus took on the weight of sin and death for me.  The slight ache in my heart for my daughter’s well being is but a shadow of the ache he felt for all humanity as he hung on the cross. His love was so great a sacrifice, that if ever I am tempted to doubt, all I need to do is remember the depth of the love that drove him to the cross. He proved his trustworthiness by giving his life for us.  I can trust him.  You can too.

My family believes strongly in cutting down a real tree for Christmas.  If we had a family manifesto, our stance on this would surely be written in ink.  What is Christmas without the smell of real pine wafting through your house for the entire month of December?  We are those people.  The ones that load up the entire family into the car the weekend after Thanksgiving and head off to a Christmas tree farm in search of the perfect tree.  We trounce through the snow inspecting each one.  Some only get a glance from us, they are too skinny, or too short, or too sparse, and our eyes quickly skip to the next candidate.  Those that, upon quick inspection, meet the basic criteria, are then moved into an elimination round.  When we’ve narrowed it down to our top 2 or 3 trees, we then move into family voting.  Every person gets one vote and whichever tree receives the most votes, wins.

I admit that last year things took a turn for the worse when, after promising our daughter the year before that she could have the final say, my husband went rogue and trumped her tree choice with his veto power.  It took her to the ground in tears and ruined the whole experience for all of us.

Sometimes, in our quest for perfection, we trample down all the joy in the process.

We didn’t go into the tree selection process thinking it would end with Hannah on the ground in tears.  We just wanted the most perfect Christmas tree we could fine.  But somehow, along the way, we experienced tunnel vision and forgot to enjoy the process.

The holidays are full of moments where we try to create perfection.  We want to take the perfect family photo, have a perfectly decorated house and Christmas tree, and we want to make perfect little Christmas cookies with our perfect little kids.  It’s a recipe for disaster.

When we focus more on the “what” (perfect tree) than we do the “who” (our daughter) we miss out.  We need to remind ourselves to look up from what we’re doing and just enjoy the sweet little moments along the way.  The smiles and the giggles are worth way more than a perfectly frosted cookie.

“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.  He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end”. (NLT)

When I find myself in this vortex of perfectionism, and I feel it pulling me in, I have to remind myself that there is beauty in the process. There is beauty in the perfectly imperfect mess of it all. Often times, it’s in the wreckage of our expectations that we find some remarkable moments.

I pray this holiday season would be one where we see the beauty in all that life offers.  From the imperfect family photo to the delicious yet haphazardly decorated cookie, there is beauty to behold in all of it.  I pray that we would find joy in the process, however that may look for us.  I pray that we would be free from the stress and worry that can threaten to drag us under during this busy season and that our homes would resound with a gentle peace.  May our quest for perfection be replaced with a sense of gratitude for what we already have.

A prayer:  Father, You make all things beautiful in Your time.  We give You all of our imperfect messes and trust You with them today.  We release our grasp on trying to make things perfect and open our hands, surrendering it all to You.  Remind us of what is truly important this holiday season and give us a fresh perspective to see all the beauty that today holds.  Thank you Father that You alone are able to give us beauty from the ashes we offer you.  

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Perfection is an idea that once it gets inside of our heads, it is incredibly difficult to get rid of.  How many times have you played out in your mind a perfect scenario?  Whether it’s something as simple as an afternoon where your children actually get along with one another or whether you’re dreaming of the perfect family get together this holiday season.  You know, the one where nobody says anything stupid, where nobody’s feelings get hurt and nobody drinks themselves to the point of oblivion.

Living in the world we do, the idea of peace can sound like something straight out of the pages of a fairy tale.  A lovely little made up word with no real-life substance to it.

We often define peace as an absence of violence, war or strife.  While that is certainly one definition, it may cause acute disappointment when we realize that we will never live in that kind of world.  Recently we witnessed missiles launched at Syria after a chemical attack.  We continue to see gunman all over our country take the lives of innocent people because they are blinded by hate.  Humanity stooped so low that a gunman murdered his grandfather and posted the video to Facebook.  So where does that leave us?  Peace seems to be something far beyond our reach.

But what if peace is less about the absence of something and more about the presence of something.  Or better yet, someone.

Scripture tells us that God is our source of peace.  He is our Yahweh Shalom. (Judges 6:24) As we continue to be in right relationship with God, one of the benefits that we receive is peace.  Isaiah 26:3 says, “You will keep in perfect and constant peace the one whose mind is steadfast (that is committed and focused on You)  because he trusts and takes refuge in you.” (AMP)  According to this scripture, the threat of war or evil has no impact on our peace.  In fact, no outside circumstances have any bearing on the peace that is found in Christ.  As we stay committed and focused on Him, He provides us with His peace that passes all understanding. Paul says in 2 Thessalonians,  “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way.”

This is our answer! This is how we can live in a broken and sinful world but also experience peace in the midst of it all.  We keep our mind on God, we place our trust in Him and we take refuge in Him.  The Lord of peace will give us peace at all times and in every way. What an amazing promise.

If we believe this, then peace is available to us in any circumstance.  Whether we are watching the news or reading another article online of the latest violent attack, we can have peace.  At all times and in every way.  Whether we are are stressing out because we’re late getting our kid to their holiday concert, or embarrassed that they are showing up in black dress shoes two sizes too big for them, we can have peace.  At all times and in every way.  Whether the demands of family and holiday parties threaten to push us to our breaking point or we find ourselves wondering if this will be our last Christmas to celebrate with a loved one, we can have peace.  At all times and in every way.

May we remember that our peace isn’t dependent upon our circumstances, but dependent upon our decision to keep our minds steadfast on God.   We can choose peace by choosing to place our focus on Him.

A prayer:  Thank you, God, for the peace that is available to us through You.  You are the Lord of peace and You give us peace at all times and in every way.  We acknowledge that You alone are our source of peace and we ask today that, as we keep our minds steadfast on You, that you would cover us with Your peace that passes all understand. 

Have you ever had a hard time accepting a gift?

Most people would probably say “no,” but there have been a few moments in my life when I’ve been given something so special that it made me slightly uncomfortable.  Whether it’s something tangible or the gift of a compliment, sometimes it’s hard to be the recipient, especially if you feel undeserving.

Honestly, I find accepting help difficult most of the time.  And I’ve talked with countless women who agree that it’s just really hard to accept help from others.

I think it’s because we often correlate “help” with a degree of failure on our part.  Thoughts like, “I should be able to do this on my own.”  Or, “I hate that I can’t handle this myself!” make us reluctant to accept the help that others are willing to give.

And yet Matthew 10:40-42 says this, ““We are intimately linked in this harvest work. Anyone who accepts what you do, accepts me, the One who sent you. Anyone who accepts what I do accepts my Father, who sent me. Accepting a messenger of God is as good as being God’s messenger. Accepting someone’s help is as good as giving someone help. This is a large work I’ve called you into, but don’t be overwhelmed by it. It’s best to start small. Give a cool cup of water to someone who is thirsty, for instance. The smallest act of giving or receiving makes you a true apprentice. You won’t lose out on a thing.”

In a world where admitting you could use help is frowned upon, we see that God’s kingdom works very differently.  Isn’t His idea of how things should work refreshing? Here we discover that we are all intimately linked together.  We discover that accepting is as important and valued as giving. And we discover that the only way to accomplish all that He’s called us to is by working together, learning the art and the value of both.

There is no failure tied to your acceptance of help.  Rather, there is importance and value threaded into it. Jesus modeled this for us while He was here on Earth.  We see many instances in Scripture of Jesus giving.  He gave of his time, energy and resources.  And yet, we also see him receiving. Jesus received the woman in Bethany who broke her expensive jar of perfume and poured it on His head.  He received the hospitality that Martha offered him and the rapt attention that Mary gave.  He even received Simon’s help as he carried his cross to be crucified.

If our desire is to be a disciple of Christ, then we need a shift in our thinking.  We need God to transform our minds and our hearts.  We need Him to reveal some of the misconceptions that we have regarding receiving help from others.  We need a reminder that we are all in this together and that as we learn the holy rhythm of giving and receiving, we become more like him.

A prayer: Father, make us more like You this holiday season.  Show us the benefit of learning to accept and receive not only from others but also from You.  May we sense the value in linking arms with those around us to get the job done.  It is a large work that you’ve called us to and we each have our own part to play.  Your promise to us is that as we learn this skill, we won’t miss out on a thing.  Thank you, Father, for modeling this concept for us and continue to work it out in our lives in the days ahead.