I have such fond memories of time spent with my dad while I was growing up.  The two of us in his rusty, green pick up truck, heading out to my grandpa’s farm to cut down a tree and bring it home to heat our log house.  My favorite part was when he would signal break time and then proceed to pull out a thermos of hot chocolate and a candy bar to split, usually a Hershey’s chocolate bar with almonds.  We’d sit and enjoy our snack as well as the break from the hum of the chainsaw.  Sometimes we’d chat but usually we just sat there in the silence, enjoying each other’s company and the smell of the crisp air mixed with freshly cut wood shavings.

I am incredibly blessed to still have both my parents living and in really great health.  Now my children get to create sweet memories of lazy days spent on my parent’s dock, catching fish and sipping sun tea in their bare feet in the same place that formed me into the woman I am today.  It honestly makes me ache to think about there ever being a time when I won’t have my father here to invest in my life or to teach my children how to properly clean a fish.  But I know that life is  precious, and his physical presence in my life is not a guarantee.

I’m so thankful that I can depend on the eternal and everlasting presence, love and wisdom of my heavenly Father.  Isaiah 40:28 “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.”(NIV)

Even the most amazing fathers will grow tired from time to time.  Just ask my kids.  They will be the first to tell you what a great dad they have but they will also let you know that Sunday afternoons equal dad’s nap time.   After a long weekend of running three church services, their pastor daddy is tired.  He grows weary.

How comforting it is to know that we can rest our cares, our anxious thoughts, our tired hearts, in God’s loving arms.  We can rest in the knowledge that, regardless of how our earthly father feels about us, we are seen, known and loved by the Creator of the universe.  Some of us have had amazing earthly fathers like mine, while others have suffered terribly at the hands of those who were supposed to love and protect us.  But regardless of how our earthly fathers have been, we are infinitely loved by our heavenly Father.  He sees us as we are, loves us regardless and desires to have a relationship with us.  And when we accept his love for us, we are held together by a love that is beyond our understanding. A love that does not grow tired or weary.  An everlasting love that comes from an everlasting father.

A prayer:  Thank you, Father, that You are a perfect example of everlasting love.  We come to You today in need of that love.  Take us in Your arms and speak words of comfort and hope over us today.  We grow tired and weary, but You never do.  Renew our strength today as we wait on You.  

Forcing things rarely works.

As a mom of three I’ve tried my hand a time or two at forcing things to happen.  Forced feedings when the kids were younger, as if that one last bite of green beans I shoved into their clenched mouths would somehow push them over the edge into the category of perfect health. Forced quiet time, which usually just resulted in me going into their rooms and reminding them over and over again to be quiet until they would fall dead asleep 5 minutes before we needed to be somewhere.  These days, I find myself forcing my middle child to shower, as though the shower itself is some sort of medieval torture chamber designed to inflict pain upon him.  I do not understand the physical aversion he has for clean water.

I’ve tried forcing my kids to quit fighting, to not pick their nose in public, to brush their teeth, to do their chores, to practice their instruments, the list goes on and on.  I’ve even tried to force fun within our family.  We will do this activity and it will be fun, understood?”

But, as many times as I’ve tried to use force to cause a change in my children’s actions, it’s rarely been successful long term.  Sometimes it works temporarily, but rarely does it stick.

I love the words in Matthew chapter 11 where Jesus asks the question “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion?” (MSG)  Every time I read this I find myself answering with a resounding “Yes!”  I think every mom who reads those first two questions feels the same way.  Yes, we’re so very tired, we’re worn out!  But I love how Jesus sneaks that last question in there.  “Are you burned out on religion?”  Why is He following with this question? Because He knows that forcing things, just going through the motions without our hearts being truly connected to it, will never provide the outcome we’re looking for.  Just being religious will never give us the true rest and freedom our souls crave.  Jesus tells us in verse 28-30 “Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.  I’ll show you how to take a real rest.”  Have you ever heard anything more alluring in your entire life?

The verse goes on to say, “Walk with me and work with me–watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.  I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.  Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  Just reading these words fills my heart with hope.

The freedom that Jesus offers us is found in the unforced rhythms of His grace.  It is found in His presence when we keep company with him.  It’s also something we have to learn; it’s not something that comes naturally.  Honestly, following rules and checking off boxes comes much more easily.  We like to say to ourselves, “There, all done.” while God is saying to us, “Here, just come.”

A prayer:  Father, help us to quit forcing things and to start living freely and lightly in Your unforced rhythms of grace. May we not look to religion to give us rest, but may we recover our lives as we live in relationship with you.  Thank you for Your promise that as we walk with You and work with You, You will show us how that looks.  Our hearts crave the real rest that only comes from You.

The lyrics kept floating through my mind, burrowing a path into my soul.

O come all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant. 

Could that include me?  I wish it did, but honestly, I feel more faithless than faithful at the moment.  Joyful and triumphant?  More like depressed and discouraged.  

The holiday season is upon us, and often it feels more overwhelming than we anticipated.  This magical time of the year that we sing about and celebrate is not exempt from heartache and pain.  Whether we are experiencing something difficult or we are carrying the burden of a friend or family member, these feelings seem more pronounced as we layer them over the backdrop of  holiday joy and cheer.

The absence of loved ones can make us feel acutely alone in a room full of people celebrating.  The loss and rejection we’ve experienced throughout the year come sneaking up behind us, trying to take both our joy and our breath away.

And now I have to be faithful, joyful and triumphant? Great, I’ll add that to the list somewhere between making Christmas cookies, buying teacher gifts, and cleaning my house for company.  It all just feels so exhausting!

But maybe we don’t have to have everything perfectly together before we come.  Maybe we don’t have to be faithful or joyful before we come to the feet of Jesus.  Perhaps the offer is extended to the exhausted and the weary as well as the triumphant.  Could it be that all He’s asking of us is just to come? Exactly as we are?

Come to Jesus with your brokenness and your burnt Christmas cookies.  Come to Him in your yoga pants, your old tattered college sweatshirt, your messy ponytail and day two of no shower.  Come with your sink full of dirty dishes and kids screaming and clamoring around you.  Come with your grief.  Come with your loss. Come with your mistakes.  Come to Him wherever you are with whatever you have.

It doesn’t matter how you come, just that you do.

Come behold Him.

Come adore Him.

Come worship Him.

And when we do, we discover that our simple act of obedience, our willingness to come to Jesus, changes everything.  Like an exchange system where we always come out ahead.  We come to Him just as we are, tired and weary, and He gives fresh perspective and renewed strength.  We bring our mistakes and our regrets and He brings His grace.  We come with our striving and He provides rest.

Don’t be afraid to come to Him today,  just as you are.  Bring your heart and let Jesus’ love transform you from the inside out.  Don’t worry about looking or feeling a certain way before you come–He already sees it all and knows it all.  Come to Him just as you are (messy ponytail and all) and you will find that He is faithful to meet you there.

A prayer:  Father, I pray that today we would enter into a holy exchange system with you.  We bring ourselves, and all the mess that comes with it, in exchange for more of You.  More of your love, patience, kindness and peace.  Thank you, Father, that we always come out ahead when we spend time in your presence.  Amen.  

When Aaron and I decided to get married, my parents did something pretty amazing.  They got us a pre-wedding gift.  It wasn’t anything wrapped up in paper and bows.  In fact, it was the kind of gift that caused a few tears and even a little tension between myself and my future mate.  They paid for pre-marital counseling.

When you first fall in love, it’s difficult to imagine ever being supremely disappointed in the other person or imagining that there might be an obstacle that you can’t overcome simply by staring into each other’s eyes.  This of course, is exactly why pre-marriage counseling exists.  To have another person, an outside party, ask you some hard questions and give you the tools you’ll need to prepare for the challenging, and also mundane, days that life will inevitably offer you.

When I think back to the weeks that Aaron and I sat together in a counselor’s office, answering difficult questions, discussing expectations, recounting the family atmosphere and parenting styles we had grown up in, I realize just how important that time and those conversations were.  There were things we shared with each other early on that we probably wouldn’t have offered up on our own.  We made decisions, declarations really, of what was going to be most important to us as a couple and what we were going to value.  We were coming together to strategically set the course for our marriage and, ultimately, for the rest of our lives.

Proverbs 11:14 says, “Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances.” (MSG)

Honestly, who doesn’t want to better their chances?  We all do.  In our marriages, our friendships, our careers, our parenting, our faith journey, our lives, to flourish. 

Notice this verse says “Without good direction…”(emphasis mine).  We don’t just need direction.  We need good direction.  After all, the world is constantly offering up advice as to how we should spend our money, time & resources.  That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good.  We don’t need direction from just anybody.  We need good direction & wise counsel. Christian counselors, pastors, and trusted friends are all great sources to receive wise counsel from BUT we have an even greater source to turn to.  We have the Holy Spirit, our ultimate counselor.  According to Isaiah chapter 9, one of God’s names is Wonderful Counselor.

In John, chapter 14:16-17, Jesus promises the Holy Spirit.  “And I will ask the Father and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you.  He is the Holy Spirit who leads into all truth.” Verse 26 says, “But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative–that is, the Holy Spirit–he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you.”  (NLT) 

Jesus is talking to his disciples in this chapter, preparing them for what is to come.  He knows that he is leaving them soon and that the gift of the Holy Spirit will come.  These verses show us three distinct ways that the Holy Spirit can help us. First, the Holy Spirit will lead us into all truth.  Second, he will teach us.  And lastly, he will remind us of everything Jesus has spoken.

Romans 8:26 also says the Holy Spirit helps our weakness.  “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit  himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”  (NIV)

He is our wise counsel.  He leads us, teaches us, reminds us and helps in our weakness.

Psalm 73:24 says this, “You will keep on guiding me all my life with your wisdom and counsel.”

Let’s not be people who lose their way. Instead, let’s be people who purposefully determine to ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom.  Today let’s spend a few minutes asking for His divine wisdom in our relationships.  May our marriages, families and friendships become strong and healthy as we trust God’s wise counsel.

A prayer:  Father, thank you for the wise counsel that the Holy Spirit gives.  Thank you that we have someone to turn to when we feel weak and need help.  The leading and guiding of the Holy Spirit is a supernatural gift that we are so thankful for.  May we learn to turn to you first when we are in need of wise counsel.  Amen.