They say beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.

It’s a romantic notion. But also one that suggests that beauty can somehow change or shift depending upon the person observing it. Take for example me. I’m not altogether sure most people would look at me and think I’m beautiful. I’d like to think I’m not overtly offensive to most, but still the word beautiful seems a stretch.  It’s a description we tend to save for those things or  people who are truly special to us.  The interesting thing is that while most would not bestow this title upon me, my husband does. He absolutely thinks I’m beautiful. At times it baffles me. Early on in our marriage I just flat out thought that he was full of it. That he was just flattering me.  But I’ve come to realize that he truly believes it. When he looks at me he sees more than just my outer or physical attributes, he sees who I really am. He knows me. And he believes me to be beautiful. And you know what? He has believed it and spoken it over me for so long that I’ve come to believe it about myself.

I was biking the other day and feeling a bit melancholy about life in general and about how fast my kids seem to be growing up.  I was riding through a part of the bike trail that was secluded with trees and dotted with little lavender flowers. The sky was a brilliant blue dotted with puffy white clouds overhead. And as I took in all the beauty around me, I couldn’t help but still feel a sense of sadness.   Yes, there was beauty here. I could see that. Anybody could. But my heart was heavy, pondering where the beauty was in life’s brokenness.  You know, the aches and pains of parenting. How is that beautiful?  The friend who lost her mom to cancer.  What could possibly be beautiful about that?  The loneliness of the single mom soon to be an empty nester.  What part of that has beauty?  There are just so many parts of life that don’t look beautiful to me.

But I began to wonder if maybe we’re looking at it wrong.  Maybe beauty doesn’t lie in the eyes of the beholder.  Maybe beauty lies in the arms of the holder.

When beauty is dependent upon the observer, then the definition of beauty shifts and changes depending upon who is observing.  But beauty, true beauty should be a constant.  Never changing, never dependent upon another’s perspective.  True beauty just is.  It stands independently.

Perhaps true beauty doesn’t lie in the viewing as much as it does in the holding.  Perhaps beauty lies in the arms of the One who holds it all together.

“…everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him. He was there before any of it came into existence and holds it all together right up to this moment.” Colossians 1:17,18 

If that verse doesn’t scream beauty, then I don’t know what does.

And maybe, just maybe, my inability to see the beauty doesn’t dictate whether or not the beauty exists.

We live in a world that says beauty is all about what we see. But I felt God challenge me to stop looking and start sensing the beauty around me.

When I am going through a tough parenting season and I look at my situation, I don’t see beauty. I just don’t.

But sometimes a friend will encourage me to keep going. They might pray for me and remind me of God’s faithfulness to me in the past.  And then, even though my situation is still the same, even though I still don’t see anything beautiful, I sense something beautiful. I feel God at work in my life, in my circumstances, and that feels beautiful to me.

And for my dear friend who lost her mom to cancer. There is nothing beautiful about the cancer or the loss. There just isn’t.  But if you dig a little deeper and talk to her you will find there is much beauty to be found in the aftermath of the ugly. Like the beauty of her knowing that she serves a God who walks through the loss with her. The gift of realizing how precious life is. The desire to connect with her kids on a deeper level because of the loss. All of this is beautiful. 

Maybe today you can see the beauty around you. Maybe it’s pretty obvious to you in your current circumstances. Thank God for that. Thank Him for the moments we can see the beauty.  But maybe today your circumstances seem a bit more bleak and you’re struggling to find any sort of beauty in it. Maybe it just doesn’t look beautiful to you, no matter what angle you come at it from. It’s just plain ugly!  Can I encourage you to let God hold your ugly?  Maybe a sliver of beauty will appear in the simple process of letting go and having him hold it all for you.  Maybe you feel like a hot mess. Like you’re just barely hanging on. Can I remind you that even in these moments or seasons of life that seem downright out of control….there’s a God who holds it all together and wants to walk through it with you. Beauty doesn’t always look like we think it should. But if we trust him he will hold the ugly for us and point us towards the beauty. He can create beauty out of anything. Ecclesiastes 3:11, “He has made all things beautiful in his time.”