I don’t know if you’re anything like me but sometimes I can get really down on myself about my parenting skills (or lack thereof.) I’m constantly worried that I’m not saying the right words, at the right time, with the right balance between love & discipline. It’s enough to drive a person crazy!

This last week the flu hit me hard and nailed me down to the couch the better part of the week. It just so happens that it was the same week my husband was scheduled to be out of town for a conference and I was feeling uber mama guilt for being sick. As if I really had any choice in the matter. It’s not like I raised my hand and volunteered. “Pick me! Please pick me to be sick!”  But I felt guilty anyways. You get it, I know you do.

As the week drug on and my strength drained out, the only adulting taking place was from that of my oldest son Jacob. As the dishes piled high, so did my guilt.  And trying to rid myself of it was about as useless as trying to scrub a greasy, baked on pan without soaking it first.

Staring at my life from a horizontal perspective at first made me feel frustrated. I felt bad I was asking more of the kids and offering less of myself. I was frustrated the kids’ favorite meals and board games I had planned to fill our week had suddenly been exchanged for scrounging the fridge for leftovers and mindless tv watching.

But gradually, as the dishes were being cleared from the living room (where we ate “dinner” every night), and my water bottle was being replenished, as the dishwasher was being filled and ran, the medicine was being administered and the blankets were being tucked in around me….I began to see what was really going on.  My kids were stepping up and doing what needed to be done.  They were…*gasp* being responsible!

Why is it we work so hard to raise kind and responsible kids only to be surprised when they actually display some of these characteristics?

As I eventually learned to let go of the guilt and embrace the fact that I was going to have to rely on my children, I let myself enjoy some of the pampering. Parenting is such an enormous task, it really is. And sometimes the day to day mundane tasks can blur the image of what is really taking place.  Because when I sat back and really watched my kids, this is what I saw: I saw Jacob taking the initiative to clean up, I saw Levi sharing his blanket with me as we snuggled,  I saw Hannah and Levi at the end of the couch doing their reading minutes together. I heard Jacob instructing the younger two in the morning, getting them off to school with all their belongings, I heard their love for me and their faith in a God that heals as they prayed over me. Each day as they returned home, they would all check in with me to see how I was doing, seeing if I felt any better. Love. Care. Initiative. Responsibility. Prayer.

And I’m not sure I would’ve seen all of that that had I been healthy.  So sometimes, when we just can’t change our circumstances, the best thing we can do is to embrace them.  To look for the good from our particular vantage point, whatever that might be. And to take a moment and embrace the beauty that is there already. Because even in the mundane, there is still beauty to behold.