Like most moms, I have spent this weekend loving on my kids a little more. Their sweet little faces have been cradled in my hands and I just can’t stop the hugs and kisses from pouring out.

 I went upstairs last night to tuck in my oldest son. The lights were out and I was trying to contain the emotions that were bubbling at the surface. My son asked me, “Mommy, did you just get out of the shower? Your face is all wet.” And suddenly the tears that I had been trying so hard to keep at bay came rushing out.  I shared with him the tragic events that took place in Connecticut on Friday morning. I tried to explain it in a way that a 9-year old mind could comprehend. But I found the task daunting as my own 35-year old mind struggles to make sense of it all.

He had some questions and he also had some fears. I spent a little longer than usual on “tuck in time” this particular night. Tickling his back. Thanking God for his life. And then choking back tears as a picture of one of the little boys whose life was taken flashed through my mind.

I was getting ready for church this morning and I turned the news on for a bit. The nightmare that played itself out in real life came crashing into my home, into my heart again.

So it was that I found my heart heavy and weary, much like my physical body, as I lumbered my way into church this morning. I was feeling overwhelmed by the sadness, the darkness, the loss.

But somewhere between a hug from one of my 3rd grade girls and the beginning of our kid’s worship service, my heart began to swell with an emotion that had been hiding out for the last two days. Hope.

The kids started worshipping God. They were singing, laughing, jumping. And the joy on their faces started to match the hope in my heart. The upbeat song turned to a slower one and their little heads began to bow. All around the room their small hands started popping up, raised high in the air. And it struck me so hard, so fast that it nearly took my breath away. For a moment I was overcome with such a deep and amazing sense of hope that it quite honestly seemed to fly in the face of reason. But hope, true hope, the kind we find in the finished work of Christ on the cross, does exactly that. It flies in the face of reason. Even amidst terrible tragedy and senseless loss, in our darkest hour, in God, there is hope.

John 1:1-5 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ² He was with God in the beginning. ³ Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. ⁴ In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. ⁵ The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

As I was watching the kids worship God I was struck with a determination to do my part to be a light in this world. I was determined to encourage these kids to be a light in their homes, in their schools and in their communities. Because after all the discussions have been had regarding gun control, mental illness and school security measures, there will still be one factor that remains. We live in a broken world. A fallen world. Darkness. And the only way to fight darkness is with light.

In the days and weeks that come my heart & prayers will be with those families, friends and community that lost so much. I will be praying that the Holy Spirit would comfort them as only he can. I will be praying for our nation & our leaders that God would inspire them with divine wisdom. But I will also do my part, in my own little sliver of this world, to let my light shine. I will realize the importance of my role. I will take some responsibility for the lives that I come in contact with. I will encourage my own children, yes, but I will also encourage my neighbor kids, the lives at the preschool where I work, the quiet little girl who comes to kids church and sits in the back by herself. I will do my best to show them how to let their light shine.

The kids sing a song in kid’s church with some pretty powerful lyrics. You should hear them belt out “Let Your Light Shine.” They sing with such passion and trust. Sometimes we as adults can learn more in a few minutes of worshipping with kids than we can over hours worth of “grown up” discussions. Today was one of those days for me.

Let Your Light Shine